With Penny, we were surprised to find out her gender at birth. My reasons for not wanting to know were as follows:
- Wanting gender-neutral baby stuff that could be re-used for any future babies
- The possibility that it might help me get through labor. I wanted a natural birth and thought the excitement of finding out at birth would give me the extra push I needed.
- Afraid of being overwhelmed with light pink if it was a girl. I mean, I love pink, but I went to an "it's a girl" baby shower once, and it was just too much.
- The surprise of it all. I love a good surprise, and this is one of life's great ones.
- I had a strong feeling she was a girl (so did Josh), so I sort of felt like I didn't even need to find out.
With Olive, we found out that she was a girl at our ultrasound. Our reasons for finding out were:
- Wanting to know whether I should sort and organize our girl wardrobe to be reused or purchase some boy clothes
- No baby shower for the second baby, so the whole wanting gender-neutral stuff didn't apply.
- I had one natural birth under my belt, so I didn't feel like I needed the gender surprise to get me through.
- Wanted to give Penny something more concrete to help her understand the pending addition to the family.
- Having already had one girl, I knew that no matter how much gender-neutral stuff you want, as soon as a girl is born, packages of pink arrive at the door, so it didn't really matter in the end. And the light pink baby girl outfits really are just adorable and precious anyway.
I am happy to have had both experiences, and I think each decision was right for us at the time. If you are trying to decide, this will give you some things to think about on both sides of the decision. Also, it is completely a personal decision, so don't let anyone bully you into one way or another. The only rule I think is that mom carrying the baby should get final say. If mom doesn't want to find out but dad does, mom should get to decide whether dad can know or not. That's my two cents.
Alternative options that we did not choose:
- finding out but not telling anyone else
- having a gender-reveal party where you are surprised along with friends and family
We followed similar paths in our first and second pregnancies, as you know. :) It was so much fun to not know with our first, and it was also so much fun knowing this second go 'round. With #2, we had the sonographer write the sex down for us in a card during the ultrasound instead of directly telling us, and we opened the card up together after the appointment over a bowl of frozen yogurt. We wanted it to be a moment for just the two of us. It was perfect. :)
ReplyDeleteP.S. And I totally agree: knowing this time gave me an opportunity to bond with this baby in a completely different (and good and meaningful) way.
We had surprises with #1 boy and #2 girl. Now with #3 the stakes are lower since we have one each, but it is the one that is tempting me the most. In the end I realized I wanted to sew tiny girl things. So if I found out, I would be disappointed with a boy, just because they don't wear newborn-3 month sundresses. But I know if I wait, I will be happy either way.
ReplyDeleteWe did the Sequinom blood typing and it came with a gender 'prediction' so it is bugging be that the midwife already knows and I could just ask.
Hi! I found your blog while searching for Cliq cabinet reviews. But I wanted to share something here. I am pregnant with my third (and most likely last) child, and I'm still trying to decide if we'll find out. We found out with my other two (a 4yo boy and a 2yo girl), and that was great.
ReplyDeleteBut part of me wants to experience that surprise...and the other part of me wants to find out at my next appointment, because both of my kids are convinced it's a boy. It's not even possible in their minds that it could be a girl. Maybe they're right? But if they're not, I wonder if that extra lead time would help them. Dunno! k bye :)